just another day

i knew today was friday the 13th. i went almost the whole day without hurting because of it being the 13th of the month and i am VERY happy about that! finally!

me and j first met and started seeing each other on the 13th of the month. we always would celebrate the day each and every month. sometimes we would just ‘say’ 13 and we would know…

and yes, it has been 2 years post-affair, and yes, there have been months where the 13th came and went and i didn’t even realize the day or i did and i was able to stop the automatic thoughts and refocus.

and this month was almost one of them… but i remembered.

yep. would have almost been 6 years ago. doesn’t seem as important as it did before. less significant now. i have never been divorced, but i am guessing it must be like forgetting your first wedding date when you are now on your second marriage. or a day a loved one passes.

it hurts, it’s sometimes remembered, and some days are better than the others. and you remember that it is no longer a day you celebrate anymore… and i am hopeful as more days, months and years separate the end of the relationship it will become just another day to me and i will be able to just ~be~ with it.